There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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