You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
