note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just googled if crying burns calories
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
