Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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