Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
