Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
