i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
