You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I wear drunk well.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
