So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
