I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
