So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
