he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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