please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
tell me about the fingering
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