I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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