My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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