dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
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you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
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I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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