They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
