in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize