maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
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