my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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