How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
