NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
third nipple confirmed
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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