this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
