We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
