I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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