I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
