Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
