I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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