I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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