Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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