just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
