at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
