He had one of those small greek statue penises
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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