i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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