It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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