Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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