You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
