Pappa wants mamma naked
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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