What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
