youre lurking in front of me
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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