i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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