He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The Olympian is in my bed
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
