At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
