I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
