Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
