I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
