btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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