dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
