Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
