I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
