I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
