soooo we both peed the bed last night...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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