Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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