So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
