STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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