just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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