This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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