I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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