Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
