..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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