Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
