left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
