She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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