He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
